When Michelle Gurule agreed to meet a man she barely knew at a Cheesecake Factory in Denver in 2015, she was not chasing luxury or indulgence. She was a 24-year-old college student buried under $35,000 of debt, juggling low-paid work, stripping shifts, and the daily anxiety of not knowing how she would survive financially. That night, she drank heavily to steady her nerves before meeting John, a 55-year-old tech worker who would soon become her sugar daddy and, over two years, pay her roughly $120,000.
Gurule’s story, told in her memoir Thank You, John, published this year, offers a personal account of a phenomenon that has grown alongside rising student debt in the United States. Seeking.com, a platform connecting “sugar babies” with wealthy older partners, now counts tens of millions of users worldwide, including millions of American college students. As reported by the Times UK, the cost of college in the US has more than doubled over the past three decades, leaving students increasingly vulnerable to unconventional and often risky financial arrangements.
At the time, Gurule’s wages from Whole Foods barely covered living costs, and even stripping failed to provide stability. John’s offer was blunt but clear: weekly meetings in exchange for $1,200. The agreement allowed her to quit the strip club, pay tuition out of pocket, and support her family, including helping her mother cover rent and groceries. For Gurule, the money represented not indulgence but relief — dental care she had long postponed, a modest car, and the ability to keep studying without drowning in debt.
Despite the financial security, the emotional cost was heavy. Gurule describes living in constant fear during early meetings, carefully leaving traces of herself in hotel rooms in case something went wrong. Boundaries were never formally discussed, and secrecy became a defining feature of her life. Friends were kept at a distance, potential relationships avoided, and lies carefully maintained. While the encounters themselves were largely routine, the psychological toll of carrying a double life left her feeling isolated and ashamed.
The arrangement ended after Gurule was accepted into a fully funded MFA programme at the University of New Mexico, complete with a stipend, health insurance, and tuition remission. Discovering that John was married provided the final push to walk away. Although the end of the relationship meant renewed financial strain, it also marked what Gurule describes as her first real step toward an honest and independent future.
Today, Gurule is a university lecturer and writer living in Denver with her partner. She credits the financial breathing room provided by the arrangement with enabling her to complete her education and secure long-term stability. While she does not encourage others to follow the same path, she is candid about why she made the choice. For her, it was a response to systemic pressures rather than personal desire, shaped by poverty, limited options, and a higher education system that often demands more than students can afford.
Looking back, Gurule says she does not regret the decision but wishes she had not carried the burden alone. Her story, now reaching a wide audience, underscores a broader and uncomfortable reality: as student debt climbs and support systems shrink, more young people are making choices once considered unthinkable simply to survive.
