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“My marriage is happy because we spend our holidays separately”

The rise of the ‘solomoon’ trend reshaping modern relationships

3 mins read
A Representational image [Margo Evardson/Unsplash]

As more couples choose to travel alone rather than together, experts say the growing “solomoon” phenomenon reflects both evolving ideas of intimacy and deeper questions about autonomy, compatibility, and emotional balance in relationships.

A growing number of couples are redefining what it means to share a life together by choosing to spend holidays apart, embracing a travel trend increasingly known as “solomoon” or “solomooning.” The concept, which describes partners who take vacations separately rather than as a unit, is gaining visibility as relationships move away from traditional expectations of constant togetherness. According to reporting published by EL PAÍS, the phenomenon is no longer limited to honeymoon variations or novelty experiments, but is becoming a deliberate lifestyle choice for some couples.

At its core, solomooning reflects a simple but increasingly common reality: partners do not always share the same interests, rhythms, or desires when it comes to travel. Whether it is differences in preferred destinations, activity levels, or the need for personal space, some couples are opting to separate their vacation time while maintaining their relationship structure. The term itself plays on “honeymoon,” but has evolved to describe a broader pattern in which individuals seek independence within committed partnerships.

Relationship experts say this shift is tied to changing expectations about emotional fulfillment. Jessica Carbino, a dating and relationship specialist, describes the trend as an acknowledgment that no single partner can meet every personal or emotional need. In this view, travel becomes one more domain in which individuality is preserved rather than merged. What was once seen as unusual or even suspicious behavior is increasingly being reframed as a form of compatibility management.

Among couples who practice this approach, many argue that traveling separately strengthens rather than weakens their relationships. Some describe it as a way to reduce conflict, avoid logistical stress, and maintain friendships and personal interests that might otherwise be neglected. One example highlighted in the reporting is Laura Martínez, co-founder of the fashion brand Hydrangea, who is married to Diego Calvo, CEO of Concept Hotel Group. She argues that maintaining separate friendships and travel experiences is essential for a healthy partnership, emphasizing that time apart allows both individuals to return to the relationship with renewed energy and perspective.

Similar sentiments appear among high-profile couples as well. Figures such as the Beckhams have occasionally traveled separately due to work and personal schedules, while other public personalities have spoken about preferring solo or friend-based trips over family vacations with their partners. In these cases, separation is not framed as distance, but as practical adaptation to demanding lives and differing personal rhythms.

However, the trend is not without controversy. Critics argue that frequent separation may mask deeper relational issues. Sommelier Jaime Mazur, in comments cited by Business Insider, explained that traveling with her partner often led to conflict due to incompatible travel styles and an underlying sense of responsibility for the other person’s enjoyment. For her, separating travel experiences reduced pressure and allowed both partners to focus on individual satisfaction, later reconnecting at home with fewer tensions.

The psychological implications of shared vacations have also drawn attention. Studies and institutional data suggest that relationship breakdowns often peak after summer holidays, with as many as 30% of separations occurring in the months following vacation periods. Psychologist Sebastián Girona notes that extended time together can intensify unresolved conflicts, as couples are removed from the distractions of daily routines and forced into continuous cohabitation. In this context, the idea of traveling separately can be seen as a preventative measure against emotional overload.

Family therapists also emphasize the importance of maintaining individuality within relationships. Jorge J. Gil Tadeo, president of the Spanish Federation of Family Therapy Associations, argues that a healthy couple is built not on the disappearance of individual identities, but on their coexistence within a shared life project. He stresses that personal time, hobbies, friendships, and moments of solitude are essential components of relational health, allowing partners to return to each other with new experiences and renewed emotional energy.

Yet professionals also caution that solomooning can become problematic if used as an avoidance strategy. Couples therapist Anna Vicen Renner warns that frequent solo travel may signal deeper issues if it is motivated by a desire to escape unresolved conflicts or avoid emotional intimacy. In such cases, what appears as independence may actually reflect emotional distancing. The key distinction, she suggests, lies in whether separation enhances the relationship or substitutes for engagement within it.

Other experts echo this nuance, arguing that the meaning of traveling separately depends heavily on the overall quality of the relationship. Patricia Sánchez, a psychologist specializing in advanced relationships, emphasizes the importance of balance and emotional alignment. She notes that while personal space is essential, couples who consistently avoid shared experiences risk missing opportunities for connection, shared learning, and emotional growth through joint experiences.

The debate also extends to broader social changes in how relationships are structured. As modern couples increasingly prioritize personal development alongside partnership, traditional expectations of constant togetherness are being reexamined. Some see solomooning as part of a wider cultural shift toward individualized lifestyles, where autonomy is not seen as incompatible with commitment.

Ultimately, experts agree that the impact of solo travel on relationships depends less on the act itself and more on the dynamics within the couple. In stable, trusting partnerships, time apart can reinforce attraction and appreciation. In relationships marked by insecurity or conflict, however, it may amplify existing tensions.

What emerges from this growing trend is not a rejection of shared life, but a redefinition of it. For some couples, love no longer means doing everything together, but rather allowing space for individual experiences that ultimately feed back into the relationship. Whether solomooning becomes a lasting feature of modern partnerships or a passing cultural moment remains uncertain, but it is already reshaping how many people think about intimacy, independence, and the meaning of travel within a relationship.

Sri Lanka Guardian

The Sri Lanka Guardian is an online web portal founded in August 2007 by a group of concerned Sri Lankan citizens including journalists, activists, academics and retired civil servants. We are independent and non-profit. Email: editor@slguardian.org

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